It’s Saturday night. After overdosing on giant cheesy wotsits and binging the latest series on Netflix, you distractedly check out the lottery results on your phone.
WHATTT? For the first time ever, the numbers on the screen match the numbers on the crumpled bit of paper in your hand. You’ve suddenly become the proud owner of a cool £30 mill.
Exciting, right? But after the screams of excitement die down, one question remains: what do you do with your life now?
This isn’t just a lottery winner’s dilemma. It’s a question many face at retirement or any significant life transition. Many who eagerly anticipate “doing nothing” in retirement often seem to lose their zest for life. I’ve noticed that without a clear purpose, a way to feel useful, so many people fade away like an old overwashed tea towel.
What is the secret to being happy in retirement (and life)?
Determined to not end up like a faded scrap of cloth, I started to look for the secret. Why do some people thrive and others wither away when they’re no longer forced to slog their guts out every day in the name of money?
I came across a fantastic book. Called ‘Ikigai’, it explains how the Japanese associate their long and happy lives with being clear on and fulfilling their ‘Ikigai’, or life purpose.
The book explores “blue zones,” regions where people live exceptionally long and healthy lives. Okinawa, Japan, a prime example, boasts the world’s highest life expectancy. Their secret? A strong belief in Ikigai – the idea that everyone has a reason for being, and living in alignment with that purpose is crucial for a long, happy life.
It actually made sense!
This really struck a chord with what I’d witnessed myself in my own life. Those who thrive, regardless of their previous work, were those who’d maintained a clear sense of purpose, and had a reason to get up and push forward every morning. It didn’t seem to matter whether it was a grand sense of purpose – like finding world peace. Or a smaller purpose, like bringing old radios back to life. As long as they had a reason to get up every morning, a reason that resonated deeply with them, it helped them to thrive.
A more extreme example is Victor Frankl, a Jewish Psychologist who survived Auschwitz. Amidst unimaginable horror, he focused on rewriting his research (after his initial research was taken from him). He was driven by his purpose: to improve lives. This purpose sustained him, and not only did he survive World War II, he also went on to live a long and impactful life.
How do you find your Ikigai, your unique purpose?
According to the Ikigai authors, Garcia and Miralles, It’s the intersection of four key elements:
- What you love (Passion): What ignites your enthusiasm?
- What you’re good at (Profession): What are your talents and skills?
- What the world needs (Mission): What problems resonate with you?
- What you can be paid for (Vocation): How can you create a sustainable livelihood combining these elements?
Your Ikigai lies at the heart of these four areas. It’s the driving force behind your personal development.
My own Ikigai, (which I’ve found over time through coaching, journaling, reflection and paying attention to my thoughts), is helping others find meaning in their life, work and businesses, through brand storytelling and understanding themselves better.
Be an Ikigai (purpose) detective
Going on a mission to find your Ikigai is a bit like being an Ikigai detective, you have to look out for the clues. From my experience, here are the five things you need to ask yourself if you want to get clearer on your Ikigai or purpose.
Ask yourself these five questions:
- When do you experience flow? When are you so absorbed in an activity that time disappears? When you’re doing something that lights you up and you’re good at it, you often lose track of time. This can depend on the task, of course, and how skilled you are at it. But this can be a clear clue that you’re doing something which aligns with your purpose.
- What energises you? Which activities invigorate you? Although I’m an introvert and being around people a lot can drain me, coaching other people actually really fires me up and gives me lots of energy. This confused me for a while – how could being around people energise me sometimes and not others? And that’s because coaching people and helping them to connect the dots together, break through their limited beliefs and find meaning is completely aligned with my purpose…so take a look at the tasks and experiences that energise you. They may hold the secret.
- What’s your golden thread? Examine your life experiences. Are there recurring themes? These can reveal your underlying passions and things you have an aptitude for. It’s usually easier to see patterns of behaviours and experiences by looking backwards through your life, than trying to see them in the present. You may think you make random decisions every day, but the truth is that our decisions (and actions) are largely guided by our beliefs about the world, which we pick up along our life. We are also (often unconsciously) drawn to things that matter to us (hence why finding your guiding values is also important). Look back through your past experiences to see what draws them together. This can be a really good clue as to what your purpose is. When you look back through your life, ask yourself: what kind of work have you enjoyed the most? Even though your experiences may appear random on the surface, there is often a common, golden thread between them. I thought my experiences of journalism, stage performance, philosophy student, corporate communications and fitness instructor were completely random. But, now I look back I can see that communications, storytelling, finding meaning and empowerment are at the heart of all these seemingly random career moves.
- What are your guiding values? This is super important. Your values are the invisible forces that frame your decision making process every day (without you often realising). Whenever I start work with a coaching client, I always ask them to get clear on their values first. This is a really good indicator of what matters to them and can point them in the right direction of their purpose. You want to understand yourself better? Learning your guiding values is a total game changer. To find out your guiding values, check out my blog post here.
- What makes you special? What can you do that no one else can? Or, what combination of skills and experiences do you have that no one else has? I’ve been a radio journalist, a corporate comms business partner, a fitness instructor and a stage entertainer. I’m guessing there aren’t that many people with that combo out there. So that helped me start to work out my purpose.
Work out your purpose, and you’ll save a bunch of time.
So, stop chucking your spaghetti at the proverbial wall of life. When you discovering your Ikigai you finally get the direction and meaning you need to make better choices, without the faff. This is so much easier (and less time consuming) than blindly trying to make decisions that are right for you, without really knowing why. Getting clear on your unique purpose is transformative and gives you the kind of clarity that leads to fulfillment and ease. Now, doesn’t that sound good?
Finding your personal purpose or Ikigai can be an absolute game changer if you’re feeling you’re a tad lost, struggling with direction, or you just want to make better decisions.
To get support on finding your purpose/Ikigai, find out more about my 1-1 coaching sessions here, where we can break it down together.
Finding out your brand purpose is also essential if you want to create a meaningful brand that has longevity, consistency and attracts a loyal customer base. Find out how to get clear on your brand purpose (and the rest of your brand Story) by checking out this handy blog post.
Resources: Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles.
